You ever hear a story so awkward, so weirdly specific, that your soul momentarily exits your body and floats above the room in secondhand embarrassment?

Yeah… welcome to Blake Griffin vs. The Towel Chronicles, featuring your least favorite NBA villain: Donald Freakin’ Sterling.

Look, Blake Griffin has seen some stuff. Dunked over cars. Beefed with refs. Dated models. Took elbows to the face in three different time zones. But even he couldn’t dunk over the weirdness of what went down in the Clippers locker room back when Donald Sterling was still roaming the halls like a ghost with a guest list.

Let’s take a walk down memory lane. Just make sure your towel’s tied tight.

🧴 “OUR NUMBER ONE STAR!” (AND ALSO… HALF-NAKED)

Blake recently sat down on the Adam Friedland Show and did what we all hope retired NBA stars will eventually do: tell the truth and spill the weird tea.

He told the story of how Sterling — who at that point had already built a reputation for being a walking HR violation — used to stroll into the locker room with an entourage like he was hosting Cribs: Elderly Billionaire Edition.

“He’d come in with his whole crew… like 10-12 people,” Blake said.
“We’re all just in towels.”

Which — okay, locker room, fair enough. But then it gets extremely Sterling.

“He comes up to me, grabs my arm — while I’m just standing there in a towel — and goes:
‘Let’s hear it for our number one star! Hip hip!’
And all his people go: ‘Hooray!’”

Y’all. He did it three times. THREE. TIMES.

Blake was just standing there like some Greek statue in a sauna, holding his towel and trying not to blink too aggressively while a room full of strangers cheered him on like he was the main attraction at a weird birthday party in Vegas.

😳 THIS ISN’T A TEAM OWNER… IT’S A FEVER DREAM

Blake didn’t even say it angrily. Just defeated. Like a man who’s tried therapy but still can’t shake the scent of Old Money Weirdness that lingers in his memory.

You know it’s bad when you tell a story like:

“Yeah, the team owner brought strangers to the locker room and made them cheer while I stood mostly naked and terrified.”

…and everyone’s like, “Yeah, sounds about right for Sterling.”

🎉 “TOUCH HIS ABS!” – YES, THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TOO

Oh, but wait. There’s more.

Blake casually tossed in the fact that at a party — when he was 19 — Sterling encouraged guests to touch his abs and arms.

WHAT IN THE VICTORIA’S SECRET SHOWROOM IS GOING ON HERE?!

Imagine you’re a teen, just trying to make it in the league, and your boss walks you into a cocktail party like, “Hey everyone, come touch this one. He’s mine.”

No thank you, Mr. Sterling. No thank you at all.

🧓 WHO IS DONALD STERLING AND WHY WAS HE EVEN ALLOWED IN THE BUILDING?

For those of y’all too young (or mentally stable) to remember, Donald Sterling was the longtime owner of the Clippers. Also, longtime creep. And casual racist. And high-key control freak. Basically, he was a villain straight outta HBO — minus the production value.

He was banned for life in 2014 after TMZ leaked a phone recording where he told his then-girlfriend not to bring Black people to games or post pictures with them. You read that right. In 2014. During Obama’s second term.

“It bothers me a lot that you want to broadcast that you’re associating with Black people,” he said.

And this is the man Blake Griffin was out here towel-juggling for in front of strangers. I’m exhausted just typing it.

🫥 “THEY DID THE HIP-HIP-HOORAY THREE TIMES, MAN…”

Blake said the thing that really haunted him wasn’t even the towel-grabbing or the abs-poking. It was that the guests… went along with it.

Like trained seals at a yacht club brunch, they actually joined in.

“He did the ‘hip hip’… and they said ‘hooray.’ Three times. I’m just standing there like, ‘Am I in a hostage situation?’”

How do you even look your teammates in the eye after that? “Hey man, great game tonight. Also, sorry I was objectified like a human victory statue by our 80-year-old boss and his country club fan club.”

🕳️ WHERE’S STERLING NOW?

Since being yeeted out of the NBA, Sterling’s pretty much disappeared. Which… good. Ain’t nobody checking for his next chapter. No podcast, no book deal. Just silence.

Meanwhile, the Clippers were bought by Steve Ballmer — who’s chaotic in his own way, but at least he keeps his hands to himself.

😐 BLAKE GRIFFIN = UNPAID THERAPIST FOR NBA TRAUMA

Let’s take a second and appreciate Blake Griffin for telling this story. Because so many players dealt with wild owners, creepy executives, and weird locker room politics — but few actually come out and say it with their chest.

Blake didn’t just relive the awkwardness… he exposed the weird cult energy that was lurking behind those Clippers banners during the Lob City days.

And honestly? This is why we need more retired players to start talking.

💬 FINAL THOUGHTS: HIP HIP, NO THANK YOU.

Blake Griffin deserves a medal. Or at least a free therapy package. Because what he survived wasn’t just uncomfortable — it was textbook what-the-hell-was-that energy.

So next time someone says, “Man, the Lob City Clippers were so fun,” remind them:

Yeah, until the team owner walked in mid-shower and tried to throw a pep rally like a fever-dream frat dad.

Basketball is wild, y’all. Stay clothed, stay cautious, and for the love of sanity — if a billionaire says “hip hip”… just walk away.

#BlakeDeservedBetter
#SterlingWasWildin
#LockerRoomNightmares
#HipHipPleaseStop
#NBAStoriesThatScar
#TowelGate