ELON MUSK SNAPS: “$150M FOR A ROBOT GIRLFRIEND? SHE BETTER COOK, CODE, AND COLONIZE MARS.” ABC’S EVA AI JUST BROKE THE INTERNET — AND ELON’S PATIENCE

Y’all thought AI was wild already? Well, hold onto your neural links, because ABC just dropped the most dystopian flex of the year: a hyper-realistic robot girlfriend named EVA, slapped with a price tag that would make Jeff Bezos blink — $150 million. Yep, you read that right. One hundred and fifty mil… for a digital dime piece.

And apparently, she’s supposed to be “Elon Musk’s robot girlfriend.” But guess who wasn’t invited to that party? Elon freaking Musk himself. And his response? Let’s just say, it was peak Musk: sarcastic, brutal, and lowkey hilarious.

“If you’re paying $150M for a robot, it better be able to colonize Mars. This is just a glorified chatbot with fake eyelashes.”

Let’s rewind and unpack the full circus.

💋 Meet EVA: The $150 Million Robo-Bae No One Asked For

According to ABC, EVA (short for “Elon’s Virtual Assistant” — subtle, huh?) is the future of human companionship. Forget Tinder. Forget real humans. EVA is here, and she’s got:

Synthetic skin so real it’s borderline creepy
Eyes that “emote,” blink, and probably judge you
An AI brain trained to mimic love, sass, and deep convos about your childhood trauma
Customizable everything — from voice tone to how flirty she gets when you say “good morning”

Basically, it’s like if ChatGPT got a glam squad and a billionaire sugar daddy. She learns from you, listens to your Spotify history, and pretends to care when you rant about your crypto losses.

ABC’s pitch? EVA is for the “ultra-elite” looking for “companionship without compromise.” Translation: For dudes with oil money and trust issues.

🚨 ELON: “NOT MY AI, NOT MY BAE”

Naturally, everyone assumed Musk was behind this digital diva. I mean, he builds rockets, electric cars, brain chips — a robot girlfriend feels like his brand.

But nah.

Musk was quick to shoot that theory down on X (formerly Twitter, but still fully chaotic):

“ABC’s so-called ‘robot girlfriend’ is a joke. I had nothing to do with this.”

And the internet… absolutely lost it.

Within hours, memes were flying faster than SpaceX prototypes. One showed EVA photoshopped into a Tesla Model S. Another had her sitting courtside with Zuckerberg, just to spite Musk. Elon’s sarcasm hit home — and hit hard.

But his burn wasn’t just shade. It was a warning. Musk’s been yapping for years about the dangers of unchecked AI. And now, ABC’s out here selling sex-appeal-on-silicon for the price of a private island? Yeah… he’s not thrilled.

🤖 “She’s Not a Robot, She’s a Vibe” — The Internet Reacts

Of course, EVA’s arrival launched a whole debate online, and Twitter/X turned into a digital Thunderdome:

🔥 Tech Bros were all in:

“Finally, a partner who doesn’t say ‘we need to talk.’”

🧠 Ethicists were clutching their pearls:

“We’ve crossed a line. You don’t date your toaster, even if it says ‘I love you.’”

📉 Economists were confused:

“$150M? We could cancel student debt or… buy 1 EVA?”

👀 Elon stans weren’t having it:

“She ain’t got Neuralink. She’s mid.”

Some folks saw EVA as a cure for loneliness. Others said it’s the final boss of late-stage capitalism. Either way, it’s got people talking — and that’s probably the point.

🤐 Romance, Consent & Code: Are We Doing Too Much?

Let’s get real. When your “girlfriend” comes with an owner’s manual and USB-C charger, we gotta ask: what are we even doing?

Critics say EVA raises big red flags:

Consent: Can a robot really say no?
Objectification: Are we just turning companionship into a software license?
Human disconnection: Is swiping right not sterile enough?

And let’s not ignore the obvious: EVA looks suspiciously like a Victoria’s Secret model with a data plan. Real subtle, ABC.

One ethicist straight-up called it:

“This isn’t the future. It’s a vending machine for affection.”

Ouch.

🎥 So Why Did ABC Even Do This?

Some say EVA is a genuine tech leap. Others say it’s just a flashy gimmick to boost ratings and go viral. (If that was the plan… mission accomplished.)

ABC released a statement calling EVA “a glimpse into the future of human-AI interaction.” They’re even planning a documentary series where, we assume, lonely billionaires cry into microchips.

But behind the glitz is a hard truth: ABC saw the hype wave and surfed it hard. Whether they believe in robot love or just wanted clout, they’re riding the algorithm all the way to the trending tab.

🧠 Will Robo-Baes Become the Norm?

Let’s not pretend EVA’s gonna be the last of her kind. If there’s one thing we know about tech, it’s that what starts at $150M eventually ends up at Best Buy on Black Friday.

And once cheaper EVA knockoffs hit the market? You’ll see ‘em everywhere:

EVA Lite: $99.99 + monthly feelings subscription
Android GF 3.0: Comes preloaded with Alexa and passive-aggressive texts
iBae: Apple’s version, charges emotions separately

Brace yourselves. The next generation of “relationship goals” might involve firmware updates and CAPTCHA tests.

🧨 So What Now?

Elon Musk’s clapback wasn’t just trolling. It was a wake-up call. If we’re building romantic partners out of code and chrome, we better think long and hard about what that means.

Is EVA a bold leap forward or a sci-fi horror flick in the making? Depends on who you ask.

But one thing’s for sure — the future is getting weirder by the day. And love? Well, love might just come with Bluetooth now.

FINAL THOUGHT:

In the end, EVA isn’t just a robot. She’s a mirror — reflecting our deepest desires, loneliest urges, and biggest tech ego trips. And as long as billionaires keep dreaming and companies keep cashing in, you can bet this won’t be the last time AI tries to slide into our hearts (and DMs).

As for Elon?

He may not have built EVA… but he sure lit her up.